Dan’s Blog

Posted Apr 25 2011, 7:00 am in ,

“Why are you so nervous? Aren’t you like a pro at this yet?”

I extend my middle finger. Kenny doesn’t get it. Nervous doesn’t come close to what I’m feeling. It’s not even in the same zip code. Sick to my stomach? Check. Would rather donate an organ? Check. Oh, let’s not forget scared to fucking death. Got that, too.

Another school. Another first day. Another bunch of posers to hide from.  This is the fourth new school. The truth got out at the last three.

Every time.

I shiver, remembering.

“Oh, grow a pair already.  This is the point of the whole new name thing, remember?

The new name. “Daniel Ellison.” I say it out loud a few times. Roll it around my tongue but it still sounds fake even though it’s been mine – legally – for months now. I hope I remember to answer to it. It’s a good name. Daniel means God is my judge. And Ellison comes from the prayer, Kyrie Eleison.

Lord, have mercy.

Shit, I can’t breathe and my heart’s trying to crack my ribs. I force in a deep breath, catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror over my dresser. I don’t look the same. Maybe that combined with the new name will work. Maybe this time, things will be different. Better.

Yeah, right.

Tomorrow’s the first day of senior year. If this doesn’t work… I’m not doing this anymore. If the truth gets out again, I’m gone. I’ll keep my parents away… keep them safe. I can’t let them keep paying for my mistake. They didn’t kill anybody.

I did.




12 responses to “Dan’s Blog”

  1. Linda G. says:

    Now, that’s what I call compelling! You’ve certainly piqued my interest.

  2. Jeannie Moon says:

    Wow! That’s all. Just “Wow!”

  3. Patty says:

    Dan and I both thank you :)

  4. Tuere Morton says:

    Wow…LOVE his voice. Can’t wait 2 read it!! :)

  5. Whoa. I am sucked in. Don’t leave me hanging!

  6. Lisa Jo Brennan says:

    Incredible beginning! Super voice, too. Cannot wait to read it all!

  7. Patty says:

    Thank you, everybody! I’ll let “Dan” blog more often :)

  8. Kelly B says:

    This was so right on perfect. You completely captured his whole voice in these few paragraphs.

    BTW for those of you who didn’t know. I have had the pleasure of reading Send and I loved it.

  9. WOW…just WOW…loved this. has so much voice and keeps me sitting on the edge of my seat. a pretty big feat considering I (along with Kelly and Jeannie) was lucky enough to already have read SEND.

  10. Patty says:

    Thank you, Karla! I have another Dan’s Blog post planned for next week. :)