Chum for the shark

Posted Feb 3 2010, 4:19 am

I don’t know what I was thinking…

I did it. I sent the Query Shark my “Send” query. I’ve ruined two manicures so far while waiting for Janet Reid, the Query Shark herself, to er…sink her teeth into it.  This, right here, this is the hardest part of being a writer and I don’t mean the fear of rejection.

I mean the ceaseless internal debate raging inside my head right now…  “It’s good. No. It’s drivel. No, it’s really good. Are you crazy? It sucks. Stop! Stay positive. Send out the query to every agent in business! I can’t. It’s… it’s not ready. It could be better…”

It doesn’t end there, but you get the point.  Confidence is something writers should have on tap. For me, it depends on the day.  I can’t keep pestering busy friends to read drafts and ply me with praise, especially if they think that’s all I want to hear.  It has to come from inside me.  When my panic attacks get the best of me, I’ve found it helps to rest for a few days. I turn off the computer, avoid the blogs and read novels someone else wrote.  It helps me recharge, find my center again.  When I return to my work in progress, the words I’ve written both interest and impress me, reminding me why I write.

It’s not only about getting published, though that IS a deeply meaningful goal. It’s about the story. About crafting the best story I can.  “Send” is a good story.


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